Kind of a Part 2 to "The Art of Breaking Complacency"
Some call it a crisis, but I'm calling it a "funk" because it doesn't sound as harsh and if we "quarter-lifers" are honest with ourselves there are more devasting things that could be called a crisis...like world hunger, tsunamis, or the ever-threatening Ebola virus happening right now. Yes, I'm comparing our "Quarter-Life Funk" to Ebola...
Some may call these past two posts a venting session and that's okay. It's beneficial to me and if someone, someday, reads this and realizes something profound or even feels the warmth of knowing they arn't alone, that's okay by me.
I've had several discussions with friends since I graduated 8 months ago, that either start or end with the phrase "Am I crazy?" "Am I the only one?" Each of these discussions in some way or another relate to a feeling of unsatisfaction with life and the ever-present feeling of being lost in life. I am not sure why these friends felt so compelled to come to me with these troubles but I am glad they did. I love listening to and helping people, but beware, I am frank and blunt and brutaly honest (to a fault some may say). Maybe, hopefully, that is why they came to me, because I am honest with them and honest with myself when I say, "I am going through the exact same thing."
Because I am.
I am lost.
I am struggling to find my purpose.
I recently had a conversation with a friend who asked me if I ever felt like just "running away from life," she was just joking around but I knew there was some truth behind it so I dove into the conversation hoping I could give some insight and let her know she wasn't alone.
I told her something along these lines... and please by all means, take this to heart yourself...
You arn't the only one who feels like this. I honestly think everyone of our generation feels lost to an extent because we want more than just the average job and the average life. I don't want to runaway though. I've been feeling lost since graduation, but I personally, have just been trying to figure myself out and find what will make me happy while still living in the now. For awhile, I thought moving somewhere else was the answer but then after a lot of prayer I realized that me feeling lost in myself won't change just because the scenery does. It's something deeper. So I'm just trying to focus on that for now and see where it takes me, if that turns out to be somewhere new and exciting then that is all the better and I can't wait. It is okay to not like what you're doing now but to do nothing about it is the crazy part. Figure out what you'd be happiest at doing or being and figure out how to make it happen.
It is overwhelming and sometimes it makes you wonder if things are always going to be like this... slightly unsatisfying (which is awful to say and so selfish because I am so grateful for this life God has given me, I just can't quite seem to find my purpose yet). My solution for the moment, PRAY PRAY PRAY. And pray with patience. That is the key, the kicker, for me right now...patience, to let His plan unfold the way it should. The kicker with patience is that I don't know what to do with myself in the meantime... is there going to be a sign... a voice... I mean a written letter of instruction from God himself would be prime time right abut now... but lets not get too greedy ha.
Change happens from the inside out. It is easy to say that if things changed around us we would be happier but the hard thing, and the right thing, is to first look inward. First, find yourself and then decide how other things need to change around you, whether that be a location, a career change, or a major relationship move.
Unfortunately, there is this stigma, this myth, that sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and be unhappy with a job to gain "the experience." But what if the experience isn't going to benefit you in the long run? Ahhh this is the question. Is this going to get me to where I ultimately want to go?? I say, if the answer is no, get the hell out of there. You are wasting your time, and your life. Carpe Diem.
You may ask me, what am I doing with my life? I say all of this stuff but am I living it out? Well, I am right along with you, and all my friends going through the same thing. I am in the process of finding myself. I have decided that I am not going to be complacent, that I am going to get after it and chase life.
Travel. Start my own business. Write. Read. Explore. Fall in love. Be happy.
Above all... rejoice in all the splendor God has to offer and thank Him each and every day for it.
"How beautifully blind are we to ignore the smallest things in us, for it's the smallest parts in us that give us the power to do the most brilliant of things." -- R.M. Drake