NASHVILLE. A PLACE FOR SPONTANEITY.

Nashville. I headed there on a whim. Never been before but in the short weekend I was there I was determined to make the most of it. Character oozed out of storefront architecture, vintage screenprinting, letterpress, cooking and fashion. I roamed chic areas, wandered into quaint coffee shops and discovered the darndest little boutiques with enough style to knock your socks off. Stores like e.Allen, Blush, Two Old Hippies, and Emerson & Grace had me in endless hours of heaven. The ladies of e. Allen were particularly fun, offering tons of great style tips and outfit options. I ended up leaving with this perfect little olive dress, making for a perfect layering piece or on it's own with my favorite, Chucks :).

Coming back home to Atlanta, I wore the dress into one of my personal favorite meccas, fabrik of Buckhead and stumbled upon a sale for screenprint tank tops (how convenient!). Friends of fabrik fell in love with the layering between the dress and the tank tops as well and we had a mini photo sesh, too much fun! Outside of the cliche boots & dresses inclination, Nashville has a grand yet laid back style that we could all take a little advice from, and better yet, mix into our wardrobe. Somewhere between boho and hippie lie the versatile styles of Nashville.

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I Checked All The Boxes...

I watched a movie a while back, That Awkward Moment. And at the time I found it a funny, an at times shallow movie that I probably wouldn't watch again. As it so happens, it's been on rerun on tv for the past 2 weeks and I've now seen it an additional 3 times. It draws me in everytime it's on and I even recorded it...It isn't the hot bod of Zac Efron or the ironic, sad yet comical version of every 20-soemthing's dating life right now...It's the life of Mickey, the male nurse, that I relate to and sucks me in everytime. 

He "checked all the boxes," did everything the right way, went to med school, found the right girl and got married...but still everything ended up in disarray. That's me. 

I did everything the right way. I played soccer my whole life, wanting to BE a scocer player. Always striving for it, for perfection. I made great grades, never partied or drank in high school, had the same great boyfriend, was homecoming queen, Miss GACS, and Captain of the Varsity team as a Junior and Senior. Played the right club teams and was loved by all my coaches. Made it into the right colleges. Multiple concussions and excercise induced migraines later, I lost the soccer, pushed people away. Concussions from my overly-aggressive nature set me back from BEing that soccer player. I was kept from becoming what I always wanted to be.

Change of direction. 

College. Switched to art and graphic design. Strove for perfection yet again. Met a guy, girlfriend to him for 3 years. Thought art and marriage were in my future and yet again... Disappointment. He wasn't what I thought he was. Pushed through and graduated and got the right job. 

But life isn't what I thought it would be. I have never felt more lost in life than I do now. I checked all the boxes. I did everything the way I was supposed to and have never felt more confused or discouraged as to what I want. I know I want more out of life but I don't know how to get there. I want to be so many things and our 20's are the time to go for all of those things. How do we obtain those things all the while trying to pay bills and be social and meet people. You overwork at an underpaid job in order to barely make it on rent and people are saying in your ear, "if you are unhappy then go after what you really want.." Easier said than done. How do I go after want, support myself, and pay bills all at the same time. It feels like a horrible vicious circle that I can't get out of. I'm drowning. In the feeling of failure. Disappointment. Dispair. Confusion. 

The Quarter-Life Funk Phase

Kind of a Part 2 to "The Art of Breaking Complacency"

Some call it a crisis, but I'm calling it a "funk" because it doesn't sound as harsh and if we "quarter-lifers" are honest with ourselves there are more devasting things that could be called a crisis...like world hunger, tsunamis, or the ever-threatening Ebola virus happening right now. Yes, I'm comparing our "Quarter-Life Funk" to Ebola...

Some may call these past two posts a venting session and that's okay. It's beneficial to me and if someone, someday, reads this and realizes something profound or even feels the warmth of knowing they arn't alone, that's okay by me. 

I've had several discussions with friends since I graduated 8 months ago, that either start or end with the phrase "Am I crazy?" "Am I the only one?" Each of these discussions in some way or another relate to a feeling of unsatisfaction with life and the ever-present feeling of being lost in life. I am not sure why these friends felt so compelled to come to me with these troubles but I am glad they did. I love listening to and helping people, but beware, I am frank and blunt and brutaly honest (to a fault some may say). Maybe, hopefully, that is why they came to me, because I am honest with them and honest with myself when I say, "I am going through the exact same thing."

Because I am.

I am lost.

I am struggling to find my purpose.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who asked me if I ever felt like just "running away from life," she was just joking around but I knew there was some truth behind it so I dove into the conversation hoping I could give some insight and let her know she wasn't alone. 

I told her something along these lines... and please by all means, take this to heart yourself...

You arn't the only one who feels like this. I honestly think everyone of our generation feels lost to an extent because we want more than just the average job and the average life. I don't want to runaway though. I've been feeling lost since graduation, but I personally, have just been trying to figure myself out and find what will make me happy while still living in the now. For awhile, I thought moving somewhere else was the answer but then after a lot of prayer I realized that me feeling lost in myself won't change just because the scenery does. It's something deeper. So I'm just trying to focus on that for now and see where it takes me, if that turns out to be somewhere new and exciting then that is all the better and I can't wait. It is okay to not like what you're doing now but to do nothing about it is the crazy part. Figure out what you'd be happiest at doing or being and figure out how to make it happen. 

It is overwhelming and sometimes it makes you wonder if things are always going to be like this... slightly unsatisfying (which is awful to say and so selfish because I am so grateful for this life God has given me, I just can't quite seem to find my purpose yet). My solution for the moment, PRAY PRAY PRAY. And pray with patience. That is the key, the kicker, for me right now...patience, to let His plan unfold the way it should. The kicker with patience is that I don't know what to do with myself in the meantime... is there going to be a sign... a voice... I mean a written letter of instruction from God himself would be prime time right abut now... but lets not get too greedy ha. 

Change happens from the inside out. It is easy to say that if things changed around us we would be happier but the hard thing, and the right thing, is to first look inward. First, find yourself and then decide how other things need to change around you, whether that be a location, a career change, or a major relationship move. 

Unfortunately, there is this stigma, this myth, that sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and be unhappy with a job to gain "the experience." But what if the experience isn't going to benefit you in the long run? Ahhh this is the question. Is this going to get me to where I ultimately want to go?? I say, if the answer is no, get the hell out of there. You are wasting your time, and your life. Carpe Diem. 

You may ask me, what am I doing with my life? I say all of this stuff but am I living it out? Well, I am right along with you, and all my friends going through the same thing. I am in the process of finding myself. I have decided that I am not going to be complacent, that I am going to get after it and chase life.

Travel. Start my own business. Write. Read. Explore. Fall in love. Be happy. 

Above all... rejoice in all the splendor God has to offer and thank Him each and every day for it. 

"How beautifully blind are we to ignore the smallest things in us, for it's the smallest parts in us that give us the power to do the most brilliant of things." -- R.M. Drake

 

 

The Art of Breaking Complacency

So many people in life find contentment in the mundane, in the ordinary... to do things the traditional way or the way they think is normal. The southern tradition seems to be to go to college, get a job, get married, have children and live happily ever after. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this life, in fact, it is beautiful in every way. I for one, have trouble with it and struggle with the angst that there is more. That we can do more than the mediocre job and mediocre happiness. For a long time, I thought people that were just content with their lives were wasting it... I was sadly mistaken.

Contentment has nothing to do with the absence of ambition or passion. It has nothing to do with not aspiring to become more or not following your dreams. Contentment is being happy with where you are in life at the present time all the while knowing that God is working for you and through you to make you the best possible version of yourself.

Complacency however, turns out to be the feeling that is brewing deep down in my soul. It is a feeling I find uncomfortable...complacency is the satisfaction of mediocracy without the intention of inspiration or ambition. It is a dangerous place to be in and I for one plan to dig myself out of it. 

Graphic designers are people with creative, inspirational minds that need constant growth and nurturing. The creative side of me feels as though I am falling behind...this feeling coincides with the feeling in my heart of mediocracy. There is more to design, there is more to life.

"I'm not sure what I'll do, but - well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to love where things happen on a big scale." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

We can be anything we want to be and become anything we want to become, so why settle?

An all mighty God created every single one of us for a specific purpose. We may wander down different paths, seemingly aimless, trying to figure out what we are meant for but ultimately we have the opportunity to live the greatest life possible to the absolute utmost. In this aimless wander, why not live it up? Be the best version of yourself, don't follow the norm, and always follow your passions and dreams, We only get one chance, this one life, live it to the fullest.

 

New beginnings...

As my last winter break as a college student/graduate comes to a close, along with the 2013 year, I reflect back on memories of myself and loved ones, as most people do. I question decisions I've made, I laugh remembering at long nights with friends over wine and cheesy chick flicks, feel sad for those I've lost, to someone else or just because it was simply the right time, I mostly though feel content for where my life has lead me, though it is not necessarily where I imagined it would be, I truly feel blessed. Not in a spoiled type of way, but in a way that makes me feel happiness for the people I have in my life and how grateful I am that God put them there for me.

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Along with reflection of the past always seems to come with that, a longing and hopefulness of what is to come. Which in a way seems slightly ridiculous because where I am now is not where I thought I would be 10 years ago, or even 5. But either way, it still comes to mind and imagination, where will I be, who will I be with, and who will I become. All of these seem so far off yet ever-changing. Like in one moment, fate could simply change course, and in an entirely different realm of it, God has a plan and just likes to send you teasers along the way just to keep you on your toes.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

As of next week I start a whole new chapter in my life, finally entering into the working world of adults. I can't wait to meet some amazing new people and learn everything that I can. So many thoughts have been reeling through my mind so I thought I would share a few from my lovely quotes Pinterest board. Enjoy!

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180º South

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In the face of failure, turn 180º and take one step forward. That is progress. In order to go forward sometimes you have to go back. In this case, adventure is an overused word in an overstimulated society. The adventure begins when everything goes wrong, when everything isn't according to plan.

 

So I landed an amazing opportunity with an amazing company in Atlanta, Kids II, right out of college. The fear of entering into an unsheltered, borderless world is beyond me. I am so excited to get started in the next chapter of my life and can't help but wonder what great things I can achieve. There are so many things I want to do and so many places I want to explore. Going back to Atlanta for the time being seems like the right move for me, here and now. The ability to learn and share what I've learned with outstanding people is something to never take for granted.

I hope, as I enter the working world I can keep a good head on my shoulders and never let my mind, or my heart, get lost in the sea that is the city. The city life may be great for a time but the open, wide spaces is where I am meant for. The occasional break from city lights and traffic will be a necessity. Whether its exploring the Gulf, kayaking through the bays of St. Augustine, or fishing off the coast, a breath of fresh air will always be needed. The heart wants what it wants. And mine wants a coastline.

It's difficult sometimes to see past money, stuff, and technology but when you do the sight is extraordinary. To live in such a simple way can be so freeing. Exploration is a part of me and I hope and plan to make it a large part of the next chapter of my life. Dream big.


 

She's Like Texas

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According to an article on Art Bistro, Austin, TX remains the #1 city for designers and artists to live, work, and play. It has the lowest change in unemployment rate since the recession, a high-tech entrepreneurship, and high projected job-growth. Other cities on the sites top 25 list were impressive with places such as Washington D.C. and Portland, OR, along with many others.

http://artbistro.monster.com/careers/articles/8883-top-25-cities-for-designers-and-artists

I have heard so many interesting things about Austin throughout the years but I have never visited myself. Which is ironic seeing as how half of my family is from the state of Texas, but lets be honest, saying you're from Texas could mean the difference of 700 miles. I am a southern belle, born and bred, with the heart of a Texan, big, strong and wild, and ever-free. I am coming to a close of my life as a college student which means in the next two months, I have big decisions to make. I have to decide where I want my journey to go next, or where I want to allow my heart to take me. In the endeavor of looking for where to begin in this new chapter of my life, I think it suites me to explore the wonders that are Austin, TX. From the eclectic variety of food, to the night life, to all the wonderment and secrets that lie in all the antique shops. It is a journey to be had, this is for sure and I plan on allowing my free spirit to float through the breeze and explore until it finds a place to settle. Maybe along the horizons of Austin? Who knows for sure...